I'd like to think
that never happened.
That night was a dream
I made up just to fool
myself to sleep,
the fear I felt is just
as passing as ocean waves,
and the faces are the
usual ones - a pair of eyes,
lips, listening ears.
Then enter jazz music,
baby coos, and the cold
post-Christmas air.
It felt rushed, but I'd like
to think comfortably.
But then, I'd like
to remember today
while I'm writing this.
The rough paper, the pen,
the sounds of early morning,
and all the efforts to push
back the lingering shame
and the whirring in my head.
The images that are
forever haunted.
The crying over a smell.
The understanding
that I can kill the memories,
but the feelings will stay.
But today, I'd like
to think comfortably.
Lorhenz Lacsa is a queer poet and writer from the Philippines. He mostly writes about mental health and human rights. He is a cat person.