Bodies
I always feel
I always go numb
on how these men
see my parts apart
the bulging breasts
the luscious thighs
the arse high
and then I bathe
unimportantly
alone
my body is not conscious
no eyes that roam
top to bottom
bottom to top
bosom to hips
vagina to lips
men know what they want
the body feels their hunger on
parts of it don't feel home
eyes roam
dissect me part by part
I breathe in
breathe out
breathe in
breathe out
life bursts
and all goes down
bubbles of my body
and graves of men
death ask me to tell them apart
who to choose
who to spare
as if skeletons care.
********************************************************************************************************************
Flowers & Rings & Love
I know people
and they tell
they know me
this time it will be different
my grave will not be lonely
they will bring me
flowers and love
decide if I am rotten enough
kiss me or bid me luck.
I will know soon if
a new message I will have to inscribe
one more grave then
to kill and hide
there is blood on my lips
and dirt on the hands
again the silent trance
and hunger pangs
punch me
to vomit it all out
I have again eaten
my insides out.
Each time I dig a new grave
and fill new crowd
bodies on bodies
crying out loud
warned to lie still
sometimes they wriggle
trying to climb uphill
they hold my spine tight
and try to break me
to be their light
and I gasp for air
to loose this sight
their versions I keep
but I let them slide
every new man
pulls me down
questions ways of my heart
on me he frowns.
And You
I have seen you before
when gardens were lush green
you were like a purpose
that has dreams
while I try to see you differently
you come using the same means
you don't know how you bring
the same scenes
of us
drinking the blood
being both hungry
and half filled
the continuously rekindling love
in unkindled will
I cannot help but still hear
in this closeness
the echo of dead screams
going in same vicious circles
of flowers and rings.
Shabnum Khanum is a poet, writer, painter and working women. She forced herself to study Science and IT but art and poetry keeps finding her when she is staring at computer but thinking of poetry or some random image in her head. She is most recently published in Indian review, Indian Periodical, Amar Ujala. She has a forthcoming book "The Violent Veins."